My first trip to Ikea occurred a few weeks after we had lived here together in January. Doug, having spent a few nights there off and on himself before I had moved here, had done a great job of furnishing a lot of our condo here in Cali with Ikea furnishings. All in all, not a bad idea. This way it left the majority of our good stuff in our house in Colorado to come back and use, and with Ikea being so inexpensive it was not a bad way to grab what needed without dropping a lot of dough. Doug even went a little "funky" grabbing a few oddly red shaped tables so we could use in our computer room.
Anyway, my first experience there sucked me into the dance. We have an Ikea about 15 minutes from our place, and upon pulling into the parking garage I knew it was on. The parking garage alone is worth commenting on; A massive amount of concrete with tons of tiny little parking spots, on that day all full as the eye could see. Why were so many people trekking to this place on a Sunday in JANUARY I thought. Guess there was nothing better to do as it rained outside. I tried to control my excitement as we got out of the car and walked to the big red entrance sign.
Once inside, my senses were overloaded. People coming to and fro all carrying these obnoxious yellow bags. Some had found the carts (which are not readily available when you first come in, you get them later). Immediately I got nervous and freaked out. Was I going to be able to handle my first Ikea experience, unscathed? Would I be fighting an older lady for the last bath mat?
Doug, by this time an old pro, steered me to the paper and pencil kiosk. For all who have never been to an Ikea, this is the important first stop. Everything in the massive Ikea store that is over a certain amount, or certain weight must be picked up in the "self serve furniture" aisles. You write down all that you want or need, and then are forced to grab it at the end, on your own, based on the descriptions and aisle listings. While it is extremely efficient, it is always nerve racking as you never know if you are truly grabbing the correct box. But first..before you get to self serve...you wander. Wander to find all you need. Wander to search everything you can. Wander because there seem like endless possibilities of what you could buy.
So wander we did. I soon learned why Doug had made a list before we got there of all we needed. Walking through some of the aisles, people casually strolling like they had come to Ikea to "give them something to do" were blocking major thoroughfares. Normally I am a patient person when I shop, wanting to take my time and survey all I could purchase if I wanted to. But Ikea strikes something in me that I felt even that first time there, frustration. Frustration that people are taking forever ahead of you. Frustration for people who like you, are just trying to find the cheapest things so they wander and they search. People who will stop at nothing to beg, borrow or steal for the last light fixture, or cool yet extremely mass produced print of Audrey Hepburn. It makes you want to rush for what you need and get out..at least for me. Before your annoyance levels hit a critical stage.
About an hour and 1/2 and a couple hundred dollars later, we made it out of the big blue and yellow building. I've joked since then with Doug that Ikea is similar to 7-11s. In S. California if you can find an Ikea, you are never lost. Since that crazy first experience I can honestly count the times I have been back on one hand (which does comfort me some, especially since I first thought after my first experience that I could totally spend too much time in that place, weekly if given the chance. Thank God that didn't come true). I am not sure I could handle having the Swedish Meatballs again.
Oh yea..that is something else I forgot to mention, the Ikea cafeteria. Every Ikea has one, for the hungry bargain shopper to feast on some quick assembly line like food in the midst of your shopping. On another occasion Doug and I found ourselves in the land of the store with the funny name, we made the mistake of going to said cafeteria. It seemed harmless enough, and both of us were starved. So rather than rush through our shopping experience to hit the Chipotle across the street, we decided to dine in the cafeteria. The delectable morsels that graced my plate...a helping of Swedish meatballs with this creamy brown sauce and mac and cheese. Carb and starch central. Immediately I new it was a mistake. While I am never one to turn down a good mac and cheese, Ikea has away of making theirs tasteless. Of course hungry, I gobbled it up. Next..the 1/2 order of Swedish Meatballs. I am a meatball fan. Be it Italian ones, or Swedish, I have often thought there isn't a way a person can go wrong with meat, a few bread crumbs all rolled together to form yummy nuggets that are meatballs. These....will go down as the ones my tummy still remembers. I have now banned the use of Swedish and Meatball in the same sentence, let alone together to describe a meal. Blech.
All in all..Ikea lives up to all I like and dislike about Cali sometimes. It provides you countless choices, all at reasonable prices. And the stuff is not half bad, as long as you realize it is temporary and might need to be replaced in a few years. However, for now, I think I will stick with one of the few California business to have captured my heart, and desires to go back again and again, the awesome....Trader Joe's!
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