Feeling really far away

Doug and I decided to skip town this weekend, it being a long one and all, and head up to Northern California. One of my really good friends (and maid of honor at my wedding :D) happens to live up in Petaluma, and so that was reason enough to head up here. She has since had a baby over the last year as well, so another good reason to say hello. And the added plus, there is wine country all around.

So as I sit tonight, it is our last night in Sonoma. The trunk of the car is 1/2 filled with wine bottles. A far different site than normal when we wine taste. I pointed out to Doug this was the first time we have been up here when we didn't have to worry about how we going to get them all on a plane. 

Overall it has been a good weekend. We enjoyed meeting up with my friend Jeni and her family. Her son Jamie is a riot and a cutie boy. And it is always a welcome time to hang out with her and her husband Danny. Two more easy going, laid back...easy to relate people I have NEVER met.

But, as the days wind down until we head home, home in Colorado is still on my mind. Doug and I have been still surveying damage of our old city, Windsor, via news links, and pictures people have posted on flckr. I guess you can say a part of me feels guilty. Here I am, living it up, drinking in the finished product of some grapes, and I keep thinking to those in Windsor who lost homes. Who are spending this Memorial Day weekend sifting thru memories. I keep thinking about last Memorial Day, where Doug and I celebrated with me doing a 5K and us attending the Pelican Festival, a festival Windsor does every year to welcome the pelicans back to Windsor Lake. The festival was scraped this year, the site it is on, being one of the places that was hit. I feel like I should be doing something, helping someway, for my hometown. I miss being right beside neighbors I have never met (but whose house I might have ran past around town), helping them survive thru a tragic time. 

I don't know how different it is, the world I will find when we head home in a month for my brother's wedding. But I hope then...even a month later I can do something to help. Cause right now...I feel so far away.....and missing that place I call home...

How can it not affect you?

Moving to California was rough, and total culture shock. After living for 3 years in a small little town called Windsor, Colorado, I didn't think moving to a big city again was for me. The small town way of life had so grown on me. Which for a kid who grew  up in Denver, was surprising. But being able to go up the street to get dinner, take the cat to the vet, go to the gym...was awesome. Reminded me of what life used to be like as a kid in Denver.. Where you knew people just up the way.

So, over the last two days you can imagine my dismay, horror, and interest in what has been going on back home. Yesterday afternoon a very strong tornado ripped apart the area that was my town...my home, in Windsor. Our house is ok...but the area itself is not. Parts of Windsor are devastated, a pathway of trees, turned over semis and cars, boats, and debris from everywhere. Neighborhoods LESS than a mile and 1/2 from our house are faced with roofless houses, and people scrambling yesterday to find places to take cover.

On the plus side..it happened during the day, when the majority of Windsorites are off at work, so injuries and fatalities were small. However after scouring all info I can from back home, constant pings of family members and friends yesterday, and just general soaking up of what happened...it is hard not to get affected by it. Our house suffered no damage at all, and our neighborhood was unscathed. But a 5 minute walk into downtown Windsor for us back home would have us finding streets lined with debris. There are parts of Windsor closed off...people not able to access the rubble of what used to be their houses. To capture what memories they can in a bag. 

I almost feel helpless, and wanting to be home to help all. Even way out here..for as long as we have been out here, I have felt tied to my life, my home..my comfortability out there. I continue to pray for all who lost their homes, their fences, their roofs, their animals..anyone who suffered harm from yesterdays storm.  

A visit from home turns into a bit of homesickness

So this past week, one of my friends from my old office came out for work stuff to our office here in California. She used to sit the cube next to me back home, so I had become friends with her. With her out here, it felt like a tiny piece of home had come for a visit. While I know she didn't come out here to work directly with me (but for another project rather), it was nice to have someone who grew up in Colorado, who knows what I know, and thinks like I think back in my office for a few days. Felt good to catch up on things back at the old office, and just generally talk.

However, when she drove off on Thursday afternoon, I found myself getting a tiny bit homesick. Ah..the word I dared not speak for fear having it out there would cause a "hiccup" in my California adventures. But truth be told, this past week, I really did experience my first serious bout of homesickness. As I watched Amy drive off, all I could think was "that should be me getting on the plane with her."

I do think a part of it also had to do with this being a big weekend back at home for my family. My brother's birthday (happy 30th little man!) my parents anniversary, and mother's day fall every year around the same weekend. This year of course was different, because it was the first in 33 years that I wasn't there to celebrate with my mom and grandma's (and my brother). While I knew this was going to happen, and that every holiday is not going to be spent with my family anymore, I guess this very first one made me a little sad to miss. So hoping on that plane on Thursday with Amy seemed like something I wanted to do just so I could be there with them.

It gets easier..and the feelings of missing home come and go. On the upside, I have a GREAT week of fun with my family and Doug planned in a month when my brother and my soon to be sis in law get married. I guess, this weekend was just a reminder though that you can take Jess out of Colorado, but NEVER take the Colorado out of Jess.

Miss you all guys! Can't wait to see you in a month.